The Faith of a Child, Part 2

In case you missed Part 1, read it here.

Agency decision made, we eagerly started the first set of paperwork and began the home study process, firsts in a long list of requirements. Our agency prioritizes prospective adoptive children and does not match a family with a child in the Ethiopia program until the family’s home study and immigration approval are officially cleared and paperwork is primarily ready to send to the country. Typically the Ethiopia program, mindful and protective of the children, does not share much more than a few sentences of information about Waiting Children (WC) until a family is cleared. 

Little was known about A, but John continued to believe he’d identified his brother. When we’d first seen the list of WC on our agency’s private site, there were 7-10 boys listed in Africa in our preferred age range. We didn’t know which countries they were in. Toward the end of March, we learned only two of the boys were in Ethiopia; A was one. 

Away from the kids, David and I admitted to each other we both felt a draw to A, but believed we still had too far to go in the process to be the family for him. We prayed God would provide him the right family and encouraged our kids that God would use our prayers for him, as well as the other children. Still, we decided to do what we could to move through the paperwork process quickly since John was praying for A to stay in the orphanage. You know, just in case. “Quickly,” mind you, still takes months.

The second week of July, the agency mailed our home study and application requesting approval to adopt an orphan (Form I-600A) to the US Customs & Immigration Services (USCIS). Although we were told USCIS processing times were 60-90 days, we prayed for expediency. The other 6 y/o boy in Ethiopia, who had been on the agency’s WC list, was no longer listed; we hoped it was because he’d been chosen by a family. John frequently asked me to pull A’s picture up to make sure he was still there, yet he remained convinced A was the child meant for our family. The girls had been praying, too. 

Forty-two days after our I-600A application had entered the USCIS lockbox, we received word of our approval. We were grateful. We had been approved to adopt, and A was still waiting for a family. After the agency reviewed our file alongside A’s, they issued, and we accepted, a referral for A. 

We are still months away from bringing A home, but we are thankful for the lessons in faith so far. Though John’s initial prayer struck fear in our adult hearts, it has been a joy to guide our children in praying through the process and praying specifically. Madeline, Abby and John have prayed for things they'd never heard about and for people they’ve never met: waiting children, birth families, orphan caregivers, agency workers, government workers – lots and lots of government workers – including ones who accidently issued us a divorce verification in lieu of a marriage certificate, fingerprints, appointments, applications, authentications, state seals, dossiers, and other families in the adoption process.

We appreciate others who have prayed for and with us. Please continue. As for John, he still prays boldly. The night we gave thanks for our official match with A, John upped his request ending with, "and please let A come home by Christmas."

The Faith of a Child, Part 1

Though it’s not the initial reaction of all biological children whose parents broach the possibility of adoption, our three kids heartily took to the idea. I’ve mentioned our youngest, the only boy, had been advocating for a brother for years. The girls were immediately on board with the adoption, though they weren’t as strongly opinionated about the brother part. 

Having determined we would seek the adoption of an “older child” (in the adoption world, “older” refers to a child over the age of three), we were interested in looking at agency “Waiting Children” (WC) lists. These are kids who have not been chosen by families already in the agency programs. We narrowed our agency choices to a final three and pre-applied to determine our eligibility, find out more information about the programs, and look at their WC lists. 

Without giving it much thought, I allowed the kids to look at the WC lists with me. For many reasons, we had decided to apply to adopt from Ethiopia. It isn’t easy looking at the faces of children needing families; they are all precious. However John, 7 at the time, zeroed in on a particular boy on one of the lists. He was convinced he had found his brother. Being the practical person I am, I explained we still had to decide which agency to use, besides getting to the point when we could be matched with a child was a lengthy process. Certainly, hopefully, those children wouldn’t be waiting that long. He was undeterred. That was February 28, 2012.

And Jesus answered saying to them, “Have faith in God. Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him.                       Mark 11:22-23

Most nights, our family prays aloud together. John began praying that God would let us adopt this boy (whom I’ll call A). He took it a step further, requesting no other family would get him; that A would stay in the orphanage until we could adopt him. I was mortified, and David seriously questioned my judgment in showing the kids the pictures. We hadn’t looked at the WC lists with the intent to pick a specific child, but to determine which agencies worked most in placing waiting children. I tried to convince John we couldn’t pray for a child to STAY in an orphanage. Again, he was undeterred. 

Over the next three weeks, we continued to pray about which agency to choose. During that time, a few of the agencies called and left messages to check in or answer questions. If it wasn’t the agency where A was listed, John would say, “You don’t need to call them back.” 

I want to be clear that though our kids have a heart for adoption and missions, they are not any different than most children. As we all do, they have their moments and struggle with pride and selfishness. An example came in mid-February, just days after we’d first discussed adoption with them. We had a box of cream puffs in the freezer and they were going quickly. There was one left. One of the kids asked, “Can I have the last one? I was going to save it for the orphan, but I really want it.” There you have it. 

John was most relieved when we announced our agency choice was the same one where A was listed. He’d made it through the first obstacle: his parents.