Processing the Court Trip

Overlooking Addis Ababa from beautiful Mount Entoto

Well it's been almost three weeks since we left for the Court Trip, almost two since we returned home. I thought I'd have written a post by now, more than one actually. I haven't. Thankfully, David has recorded many of the details. Since he'll cover some play-by-play, including pictures, I'm going with a summary of thoughts.

Addis Ababa, the capital, is located centrally.

Of course, A is the primary reason we went and I will share about him in a minute. Before you get to that part and see a sneak-peek picture which will cause your eyes to blur with wet stuff (so scroll slowly), I want to mention some other points. First off, we loved it. We loved the trip, we loved the city, we loved the people we met (American & Ethiopian), we loved the food. 

A's country has a fascinating history and there is much to be learned there. We were so grateful for our agency's hardworking in-country staff. In an area of the world where you can expect the unexpected, we did our best to take a back seat and go with the flow. I sure wish I could make myself do that stateside. It works so much better to trust God with the details (hello, understatement.) 

Yes, there are many hard things and yes, there is need; but, God is working and there is hope. I want to share soon with you the story of Nesibu and Birkutan, the amazing couple who own Morning Coffee Guesthouse, where we stayed. They humbled and blew us away, and we cannot wait to see them again.

Here's what I posted on facebook after meeting our little guy on Friday, November 2nd:
Had a good day. Loved meeting A though it is hard to explain the experience of meeting a child you know will be yours, but who doesn't have the same knowledge, etc.

There were other precious children there; we just can't show you them :)

I've mentioned before that our agency prefers kids under 10 not know about their adoptive parents during the Court Trip. During our visit, we played with all of the children at his orphanage and A seemed quite oblivious, happy to play with the soccer ball we brought. There was a keen observer though, a 10-year-old girl, who pegged us before we ever saw him. Apparently she let him know during the movie time inside, however he seemed to shrug it off, more intent on  the TV screen about to feature Homeward Bound (it's universal, isn't it ladies?)

I'm running out of steam, so here's what I'll end with: it wasn't as hard as you'd imagine when we were there, but it has been harder than I'd imagined since our plane left Africa.

The crazy thing is he's ours. If we were there, we could have custody of him; we just can't bring him here until the US Embassy reviews and clears the case. We're praying his birth certificate and passport (with our last name) will be ready soon so the agency can submit our case to Embassy. Hopefully, we'll be back on a plane Africa-bound in the next 4-6 weeks. We can't wait to see this smile again.

Leaving for Court

It has been a busy past few weeks, but we have made it to the airport and are ready to leave for our court trip. We'll board the plane here in Atlanta in just a few minutes, fly thru Frankfurt and on to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Thank you for your prayers as we travel, prepare to meet A Thursday or Friday, attend court Monday, and then leave for home (w/o A - see previous post for details on why.) We'd also appreciate prayers for M, A, & J as they stay home. We return Tuesday. I'll share a few pics of A's room & a collage that is in the photo album A will receive when we're on our way back for the Embassy trip (the one when he leaves with us!)

 

We probably won't be able to blog or check email while we are there, but we should be able to communicate via Facebook.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Court Date

So remember how last week I said it can take anywhere from 1-4 weeks for the judge to issue our court date, which should be 3-8 weeks out from the date we are notified? Well, the judge took 1 week and our court date is in 3 weeks and 3 days. Now subtract at least 5 days, because we have to be in country by the Thursday before. Oh, we may need to take away another day, as Thursday doesn't seem to be an easy day to get a flight in; and yep, we (just David & Amy) leave the country in about 17-18ish days. But it's worth it, because we get to meet A in 20 days!

No, our calendar really isn't this open. Wouldn't that be nice?

You may also remember I mentioned that A does not come home with us, or even get to know us especially, on this trip. Every country process is a little different. Families adopting from Ethiopia must appear first in the Ethiopian national court. Once approved, a few more documents are gathered (official declaration letters, his new birth certificate & passport) and the case is submitted to the US Embassy in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia's capital. The Embassy there reviews our file and, once satisfied, issues an interview. We will then return to Ethiopia to complete the process and bring A home. This could be 2 months after our court date, or 4 months, or...

Agencies differ in their approach to the adoptive parents' involvement on the first (court) trip. Our agency prefers that children under 10 not know which couple specifically has been matched with them until the parents are scheduled to return for the final (Embassy) trip. We actually prefer this method because we'd rather A not associate us, as his parents, with leaving him. Certainly, we are excited about meeting him and the other children living in the orphanage. Of course it will be difficult returning home without him, but we've heard from a few other adoptive parents that this orphanage does a wonderful job with the children. We expect this will help some.

One of the projects to be accomplished before we leave (in 17ish days) is a photo album, which will be used to familiarize A with our family, home, etc before we arrive in Ethiopia for the final, Embassy, trip. One of the pages will feature A's room here, however it currently looks like this:

Impressive, isn't it?

So you see, we have a few more projects in addition to prepping, packing, immunizing, mothering, fathering, teaching, doctoring; you get the idea! Where is that blank calendar? We do appreciate your prayers, encouragement, and support. Thankfully, I have some wonderful ladies who will be helping me over the next few weeks. There are more posts we still hope to share before this next leg of the journey, but we may have to throw in a little Amharic because that's another To Do. Jiggeri yellem (Chigger yeh-LEM => No problem!)

Tomorrow He Turns Seven

Tomorrow, October 10, 2012, A turns seven. I know thousands of prospective adoptive parents have experienced this. Today we join them, and it is strange. I've always been a very fluid birthday person, celebrating on the exact day not necessary. I get this honest. Take the birthday when the hurricane passed by: eh, let's stick a candle in a bagel & try again on a different day. But for A, we won't even celebrate this year, never mind the first six.

We accept this part of the process and give thanks, because every year, there has been someone in his life who has tried their best to care for him. Every year, God has seen and known who would be with A as he grew. While I'm eager for him to join our family, I do not rejoice that this is possibly A's last year turning a year older in his beautiful birth country. Though we've not yet visited, we love Ethiopia and respect the culture and heritage God has granted our son. He may even choose for David to celebrate his 40th there. Could you make that surprise party?

More than throwing a birthday bash here, I look forward to meeting our little guy, kicking around the soccer ball, and sharing some injera and macaroni (his favorite foods). Forgive me for twisting the dagger a little more; this was not planned, but while I'm on the subject of Ethiopia, orphans and birthdays, I cannot pass up the opportunity to ask you to pray for a girl who is waiting for a family. Her name I can't share, but please pray for her to be chosen before she turns 16 this spring and passes the age allowed for adoption. On that day, her exact birth date will matter.

For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:22-27

So This Paper Walks Into a Courthouse

At this point in the process, we've signed, handled, carried, and shipped so many papers for approval, we've lost count. Today, however, our papers traveled to where no paper of ours has traveled before: an Ethiopian courthouse. Our case was officially submitted to "Court."

What does that mean, you ask? We're still getting a handle on it ourselves; but, basically we wait for the judge to review the application and set a date for a court hearing. We (David & Amy) will travel to Ethiopia for that court appointment with the judge to, ideally, be given permission to legally adopt A. I'll give more details later, but though we will have the privilege of meeting him on that trip, he will not attend the court meeting, know which child we have been matched with, and he will not travel home with us until our second trip for US Embassy clearance. 

It can take anywhere from 1-4 weeks for the judge to issue our court date, which should be 3-8 weeks out from the date we are notified. As with any stage of the international adoption process, this can change. We are excited, but I am slightly hyperventilating because there is still much to do! Thank you for your prayers. We look forward to sharing more with you soon.

The Faith of a Child, Part 2

In case you missed Part 1, read it here.

Agency decision made, we eagerly started the first set of paperwork and began the home study process, firsts in a long list of requirements. Our agency prioritizes prospective adoptive children and does not match a family with a child in the Ethiopia program until the family’s home study and immigration approval are officially cleared and paperwork is primarily ready to send to the country. Typically the Ethiopia program, mindful and protective of the children, does not share much more than a few sentences of information about Waiting Children (WC) until a family is cleared. 

Little was known about A, but John continued to believe he’d identified his brother. When we’d first seen the list of WC on our agency’s private site, there were 7-10 boys listed in Africa in our preferred age range. We didn’t know which countries they were in. Toward the end of March, we learned only two of the boys were in Ethiopia; A was one. 

Away from the kids, David and I admitted to each other we both felt a draw to A, but believed we still had too far to go in the process to be the family for him. We prayed God would provide him the right family and encouraged our kids that God would use our prayers for him, as well as the other children. Still, we decided to do what we could to move through the paperwork process quickly since John was praying for A to stay in the orphanage. You know, just in case. “Quickly,” mind you, still takes months.

The second week of July, the agency mailed our home study and application requesting approval to adopt an orphan (Form I-600A) to the US Customs & Immigration Services (USCIS). Although we were told USCIS processing times were 60-90 days, we prayed for expediency. The other 6 y/o boy in Ethiopia, who had been on the agency’s WC list, was no longer listed; we hoped it was because he’d been chosen by a family. John frequently asked me to pull A’s picture up to make sure he was still there, yet he remained convinced A was the child meant for our family. The girls had been praying, too. 

Forty-two days after our I-600A application had entered the USCIS lockbox, we received word of our approval. We were grateful. We had been approved to adopt, and A was still waiting for a family. After the agency reviewed our file alongside A’s, they issued, and we accepted, a referral for A. 

We are still months away from bringing A home, but we are thankful for the lessons in faith so far. Though John’s initial prayer struck fear in our adult hearts, it has been a joy to guide our children in praying through the process and praying specifically. Madeline, Abby and John have prayed for things they'd never heard about and for people they’ve never met: waiting children, birth families, orphan caregivers, agency workers, government workers – lots and lots of government workers – including ones who accidently issued us a divorce verification in lieu of a marriage certificate, fingerprints, appointments, applications, authentications, state seals, dossiers, and other families in the adoption process.

We appreciate others who have prayed for and with us. Please continue. As for John, he still prays boldly. The night we gave thanks for our official match with A, John upped his request ending with, "and please let A come home by Christmas."

The Faith of a Child, Part 1

Though it’s not the initial reaction of all biological children whose parents broach the possibility of adoption, our three kids heartily took to the idea. I’ve mentioned our youngest, the only boy, had been advocating for a brother for years. The girls were immediately on board with the adoption, though they weren’t as strongly opinionated about the brother part. 

Having determined we would seek the adoption of an “older child” (in the adoption world, “older” refers to a child over the age of three), we were interested in looking at agency “Waiting Children” (WC) lists. These are kids who have not been chosen by families already in the agency programs. We narrowed our agency choices to a final three and pre-applied to determine our eligibility, find out more information about the programs, and look at their WC lists. 

Without giving it much thought, I allowed the kids to look at the WC lists with me. For many reasons, we had decided to apply to adopt from Ethiopia. It isn’t easy looking at the faces of children needing families; they are all precious. However John, 7 at the time, zeroed in on a particular boy on one of the lists. He was convinced he had found his brother. Being the practical person I am, I explained we still had to decide which agency to use, besides getting to the point when we could be matched with a child was a lengthy process. Certainly, hopefully, those children wouldn’t be waiting that long. He was undeterred. That was February 28, 2012.

And Jesus answered saying to them, “Have faith in God. Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him.                       Mark 11:22-23

Most nights, our family prays aloud together. John began praying that God would let us adopt this boy (whom I’ll call A). He took it a step further, requesting no other family would get him; that A would stay in the orphanage until we could adopt him. I was mortified, and David seriously questioned my judgment in showing the kids the pictures. We hadn’t looked at the WC lists with the intent to pick a specific child, but to determine which agencies worked most in placing waiting children. I tried to convince John we couldn’t pray for a child to STAY in an orphanage. Again, he was undeterred. 

Over the next three weeks, we continued to pray about which agency to choose. During that time, a few of the agencies called and left messages to check in or answer questions. If it wasn’t the agency where A was listed, John would say, “You don’t need to call them back.” 

I want to be clear that though our kids have a heart for adoption and missions, they are not any different than most children. As we all do, they have their moments and struggle with pride and selfishness. An example came in mid-February, just days after we’d first discussed adoption with them. We had a box of cream puffs in the freezer and they were going quickly. There was one left. One of the kids asked, “Can I have the last one? I was going to save it for the orphan, but I really want it.” There you have it. 

John was most relieved when we announced our agency choice was the same one where A was listed. He’d made it through the first obstacle: his parents.